Seems like there have recently been several threads about caring for our elderly relatives.
My dad is 86 years old, living in a senior residence (not assisted living) where he gets his meals and that's it. He loves it, plays bridge 2-3 times a week and has friends. He has been in the hospital followed by nursing home stays several times in the past year. Out of 4 siblings, only one lives in the same state, 40 miles one way. The rest of us live in other states. I live furthest away: he lives on the west coast, I live in the midwest.
There are of course a number of issues but right now the biggest is that he has been asking my brother for money on a regular basis. Turns out brother has given him $12,000 over the past year. He makes good money but with a daughter in college he can't keep this up. Brother has room and has been campaigning for Dad to come live with him (several states away) so he can be sure he is getting the care he needs.
Nobody really wants this as Dad will be heartbroken to leave his home and give up his independence. But he is not being forthcoming about why he cannot live on his pension plus social security (about $4000/month combined). He vaguely says medical bills which is possible but he has medicare plus a supplement. The main problem is that we just don't know where the money is going and how to help him. We don't know if he is becoming incompetent, if someone is taking advantage of him, or if his medical bills really are $12,000 a year?
Has anyone gone through something like this?
My dad is 86 years old, living in a senior residence (not assisted living) where he gets his meals and that's it. He loves it, plays bridge 2-3 times a week and has friends. He has been in the hospital followed by nursing home stays several times in the past year. Out of 4 siblings, only one lives in the same state, 40 miles one way. The rest of us live in other states. I live furthest away: he lives on the west coast, I live in the midwest.
There are of course a number of issues but right now the biggest is that he has been asking my brother for money on a regular basis. Turns out brother has given him $12,000 over the past year. He makes good money but with a daughter in college he can't keep this up. Brother has room and has been campaigning for Dad to come live with him (several states away) so he can be sure he is getting the care he needs.
Nobody really wants this as Dad will be heartbroken to leave his home and give up his independence. But he is not being forthcoming about why he cannot live on his pension plus social security (about $4000/month combined). He vaguely says medical bills which is possible but he has medicare plus a supplement. The main problem is that we just don't know where the money is going and how to help him. We don't know if he is becoming incompetent, if someone is taking advantage of him, or if his medical bills really are $12,000 a year?
Has anyone gone through something like this?
Another Elder Care Thread (Finances)
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